


Unfair

by The_Fallen_Sky



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 18:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15978389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fallen_Sky/pseuds/The_Fallen_Sky
Summary: Sometimes, life isn't fair.





	Unfair

**Author's Note:**

> This story is told from Maria's POV and is set after the end of the game, most likely in an AU. The exact time-frame is up for debate, but it's not all that important.

It's not fair.

Why her and not me?

What's so special about her? Why does she deserve it more than I do?

I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am. She's got something I've longed for since I was a kid, something I've tried to achieve for years with Tommy. And while I keep failing, keep having my hopes dashed and my heart broken, she wasn't even trying, and yet she gets everything I've ever wanted. 

The worst part, though, is that I can't be mad, can't let her know I'm jealous, because she's family. She looks up to me, looks to me for guidance and advice, about relationships, sex and now...this.

When I see her look at me with those big, hopeful eyes, filled with curiosity and questions, when I hear her voice quaver with nervousness and fear, when I see her body tremble as tears threaten to fall, I can't help but love her, and every instinct in me compels me to hold her, to assuage her fears, to let her know that she's not alone, that she can come to me anytime and for any reason, and I'll be here for her.

And when she smiles at me, eyes watery and cheeks red, her face radiant with gratitude, my chest feels like it's about to burst from all the love I feel for her, and I can't stop myself from smiling back at her.

It's those times when I feel closest to her, that my feelings of jealousy fade away and are forgotten, and we're just one big family.

Sadly, those moments don't last forever.

All too soon, the jealousy returns.

Sometimes, it gets so bad that I can't stand to be around her or even look at her. Seeing her so happy...the smile of pure joy on her face as she and Joel walk down the street, their hands clasped, fingers entwined, or the way Joel will brush a stray strand of hair off of her forehead, his fingers lightly brushing her skin, the way her eyes will drift shut at the soft, intimate contact, how his fingers will trace the curve of her cheek before trailing down the side of her neck and along her collarbone, ghost along her arm before coming to rest on her stomach, fingers splayed, palm flat, how her hand covers his as if to cement their connection and relish the bond they share, how he looks at her like she's his whole world and he'd be lost without her, how her eyes open and meet his, how they see nothing but each other and the future they'll share, how he slowly leans in, head bowing, as she rises up on her toes, how their lips meet and linger, sharing a kiss not of passion but of pure, unadulterated love...

Seeing her so happy should make _me_ happy, and mostly it does. I'm happy she's found someone who loves her, who would do anything for her. I'm also happy that she's part of my family.

Still, having to watch her belly grow and having to talk with her about everything that comes with being pregnant and giving birth and being a mom...it hurts.

It hurts, because I don't know if I'll ever know what it's like to feel a life growing inside me, don't know if I'll ever know what it feels like to give birth, to hold a baby in my arms and know it's mine, to feel it suckle at my breast, to kiss it and love it and watch it grow. It hurts to watch a teenager accomplish something I've tried for years to achieve, to become a mother and get to experience all the joys that come along with it, while I'm left with emptiness and heartache. It also hurts that I hate her for having everything I've ever wanted.

Why her and not me?

It's just not fair.


End file.
